How Real Life Inspires My Songs

As a songwriter, I often get asked,

“How did you come up with that?”

Especially once people find out I’ve written anywhere between 50 and 365 songs a year since 2012.

The truth is: they’re not all good. In fact, 90% of them get written, forgotten, and never meet an audience. They end up in the graveyard of songs—buried in my voice memos or tucked away in old notebooks, never to be seen or heard from again. And honestly? That’s part of the process.

When you write as much as I do, you learn quickly that you can’t get too attached. You can (and should) believe in your songs, but not every one of them sprouts wings. Some songs deserve the chance to fly—to see how far they can go—but it’s not always easy to give them those wings.

The songs that excite me get extra chances to soar. Maybe I’ll release them myself, or perform them to see how they land. Other songs get a little star in my notebook, waiting for me to circle back when the timing feels right. Those are usually the ones that make me feel something or tell a story that I feel hasn’t been told yet – but needs to be.

Most songwriters write a lot of songs (those who do it professionally, and those who want to (I am the later).
Like all things in this world, the more you do it the better you get. I think about it this way:

I have to write 100 songs for 20 to be good, 5 to be really good, and 1 to be great.

The faster I get at writing, the more songs I can create. This is simple probability (haha coming from the non-math girly). But honestly, the more songs – the better your chances for something good, really good, or great to come out of it.

I also write because it feels good. I’ve always been a storyteller—through short stories, poetry, acting, singing, and even public speaking (for fun, not force). I’ve always felt like I have something to say. A lot of thoughts and feelings spin around in my head, and if I don’t get them down on paper, they just keep spinning and spinning.

The more you write, the more you find your voice—what sounds like you. And that voice shifts over time. I’m constantly asking myself:

“What do I want to say?”
“What do people need to hear?”

And usually, my songs land somewhere in the middle.

Now, let’s talk about Inspiration

Like anything, the more you look for it, the more you see it. My undergrad is in psychology, so I love the brainy side of this too. It all ties back to something called your reticular activating system—or what’s more commonly known as the Red Car Theory.

It basically says: once something becomes important to you, your brain starts highlighting it in your environment. If you start looking for red cars, suddenly you see red cars everywhere.

As a songwriter (or storyteller), I’m always looking for ideas—so naturally, I start seeing them everywhere.

Here are a few real-life moments that have turned into song ideas for me:

1. The other day, a stranger was talking to/ flirting with my husband. It made me laugh because honestly, I don’t even blame her. He’s hot.
   • My next thought? “This could be a song.”
   • I pictured a modern “Jolene” situation, but flipped: instead of jealousy, it’s playful. An upbeat, “girls’ girl” vibe—like, you’re right, he’s a catch, but he chose me, so I’m not worried.
2. At a restaurant, I overheard a woman telling her bestie about a breakup. She said they’d been together since high school, and out of nowhere, he ended things. When her friend asked why, she said,
   “He told me he doesn’t even recognize me anymore. That I’ve changed.”
   She said that she didn’t feel like that was true.
   • I thought – well that’s interesting. Wouldn’t it be a fun song if she took that literally and really did change – did exactly what he said. Instead of turning him into a liar, became what he accused? I took out my phone in my little notepad app and wrote down:
     • Well shit, I’ll die my hair
       I’ll even change my name
       You can start callin’ me an ex
       instead of calling me babe
       I’ll drop about 200 pounds
       of your dead weight
       Put on a revenge red lip
       so you won’t even recognize my face
       You said you don’t know me anymore
       yelled, “who the hell are you?”
       well I wouldn’t wanna call you a liar
       so watch me turn into something new
       you said it,
       so I guess I’ll make it true
3. A lot of my friends have been getting married, and wedding songs are having a big moment in country music. I was thinking of ways to write a wedding song that hasn’t been done before, which led me to thinking: How could I write a wedding song that isn’t a love song?
   • I would want to keep traditional ‘wedding’ elements but flip it. This led me to the whole something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue. What if you’re in the crowd of someone you loved watching them marry someone else – so you’re the something blue. Maybe she’s got her grandmother’s ring, a man that’s brand new, borrowed her besties’ garter – and you’re her something blue.
4. I met a women who was engaged to be married and she was maybe 40. I made some comment about how I thought that was great, and that I wasn’t married until I was 30. She said, “oh no honey, this is my fourth husband”. My first initial (judgmental) thought was, damn this women can not keep a man. But then I thought – well hell maybe it’s not that she can’t keep a man, but maybe they couldn’t keep her…
   • This led me to writing a song called “Can’t Keep Me”.
     • Well I’ve been married once, twice, on my third try
       and I swear I loved ’em all, not forever – for awhile
       and I know just what you’re thinking
       that diamond diggin’ whore
       they say I’ve collected more rings
       than one of them fancy jewelry stores
       but what they don’t notice
       what they don’t see
       it’s not that I can’t keep a man
       it’s that a man can’t keep me…
       
       Can’t keep me happy, satisfied, here no matter how he swears he tried,
       holdin’ on to something that’ll never change
       Can’t keep me, stickin around, forgivin you,
       for all you’ve done and all you do
       So boy you best believe,
       You can’t keep me
       from leavin’

Of course, sometimes the songs are personal to me – journal entries about things going on in my life. Maybe they’re stories of things going on in a friends life.
Sometimes they’re not deep at all. One time I wrote a song called “UHaul” because I saw a UHaul outside of my window…

Inspiration isn’t always a flashing red light. Sometimes, it doesn’t show up at all—and that’s when you have to lean on your dedication to the craft, your goals, and the quiet belief that maybe, just maybe, the world (or someone in it) needs your song. Your story. That idea. So you show up anyway, because you never know when the words you almost didn’t write could change something for someone.

To wrap it up-
Songwriting isn’t magic. It’s noticing, paying attention, grabbing it when it comes into reach, jotting it down before it slips away, and writing and writing again until something takes flight.

To my fellow songwriters – I’d love to know what inspires you and your songs.

If you’re a listener – a fan of a good story or a good song – Did any of these moments surprise you? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments below.

If you want to keep up with my music journey, please make sure you’re signed up for my email list! I’m going to have a lot of fun things to share in 2026, and that is the best way to be the first to hear about it!

Love Always,